How to fix your entire life in 1 day

If you’re anything like me, you think new years resolutions are stupid.

Because most people go about changing their lives in the completely wrong way. They create these resolutions because everyone else does – we create a superficial meaning out of status games – but they don’t meet the requirements for true change, which goes a lot deeper than convincing yourself you’re going to be more disciplined or productive this year.

If you’re one of these people, I’m not here to talk down on you (I tend to be a bit harsh in my writing). I’ve quit 10x more goals than I’ve achieved. I think that should be the case for most people. But the fact that people try to change their lives and utterly fail almost every time holds true.

However, as much as I think new years resolutions are stupid, it’s always wise to reflect on the life you hate so you can launch yourself toward something that much better, as we will discuss.

So whether you want to start the business, transform your body, or take the risk toward a more meaningful life without quitting after 2 weeks, I want to share 7 ideas you probably haven’t heard before on behavior change, psychology, and productivity so you can do just that in 2026.

This will be comprehensive.

This isn’t one of those letters that you read through and forget about.

This is something you will want to bookmark, take notes on, and set aside time to think about.

The protocol at the end (to dig deep into your psyche and uncover what you truly want in life) will take about a full day to complete, with effects that last far longer than that.

Let’s begin.

I – You aren’t where you want to be because you aren’t the person who would be there

When it comes to setting big goals, people tend to focus on one of the two requirements for success:

1. Changing your actions to make progress toward the goal (least important, second order)
2. Changing who you are so that your behavior naturally follows (most important, first order)

Most people set a surface-level goal, hype themselves up to remain disciplined for the first few weeks, then go back to their old ways without much struggle, because they were trying to build a great life on a rotting foundation.

If this doesn’t make sense, let’s run through an example.

Think of somebody successful. It can be a bodybuilder with a great physique, a founder/CEO worth hundreds of millions, or a charismatic dude who can chat up a group without a shred of anxiety entering his mind.

Do you think the bodybuilder has to “grind” to eat healthy? Does the CEO have to discipline themselves to show up and lead the team? To you, it may seem like that on the surface, but the truth is that they can’t see themselves living any other way. The bodybuilder has to grind to eat unhealthily. The CEO has to force themself to lie in bed past their alarm clock, and they hate every second of it (there is nuance here, just entertain me for a second).

To some people, my own lifestyle seems a bit extreme and disciplined. To me, it’s natural, and I don’t say that to contrast it with any other kind of lifestyle. I simply enjoy living this way. When my mom tells me that I should take a break, go out, and have some fun… I hold my tongue from telling her, “If I weren’t having fun, why would I be doing what I’m doing?”

This next sentence may sound simple, but it is baffling how many people don’t get it.

If you want a specific outcome in life, you must have the lifestyle that creates that outcome long before you reach it.

If someone says they want to lose 30 pounds, I often don’t believe them. Not because I don’t think they are capable, but because there are too many times when that same person says, “I can’t wait until I’m done losing weight so I can start to enjoy life again.” I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t adopt the lifestyle that led to you losing the weight, for life, and find a reason with a higher gravitational pull than the one tying you to your previous ways, then you will go straight back to where you started, and you can unhappily say that you wasted the resource you will never get back: time.

When you truly change yourself, all of your habits that don’t move the needle toward your goal become disgusting, because you have a deep and profound awareness of what kind of life those actions compound into. You are okay with your current standards because you are not fully aware of what they are or what they lead to. We will discuss how to uncover this, but we need to build up to that.

You say you want to change. You say you want to “become financially free” and “get healthy,” but your actions show otherwise for a reason. And it goes a lot deeper than you think.

II – You aren’t where you want to be because you don’t want to be there

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. – Alfred Adler

If you want to change who you are, you must understand how the mind works so that you can start to reprogram it.

The first step to understanding the mind is to understand that all behavior is goal-oriented. It’s teleological. When you think about it, this is kinda obvious, but when we dig into it, most people don’t want to hear it.

You take a step forward because you want to reach a certain location.

You scratch your nose because you want to make the itch go away.

Those ones are clear, but most of the time, your goals are unconscious. You may not realize that when you sit on the couch in the middle of the day, you are trying to burn time before your next responsibility, as one simple example.

On an even more unconscious and complex level, you pursue goals that can harm you, but you justify your actions in a way that is socially acceptable and doesn’t make you seem like a loser.

As an example, if you can’t stop procrastinating your work, you may justify it with the fact that you “lack discipline,” but in reality, you are attempting to achieve a goal like you always are. In this case, that goal could be to protect yourself from the judgment that comes from finishing and sharing your work.

If you say you want to quit your dead-end job, but stay in it without any real reason, you may start to think you don’t have enough courage, or that you were never really a “risk taker,” but the truth is that you are pursuing the goal of safety, predictability, and an excuse to not look like a failure to everyone else in your life who sees working a dead-end job as a sign of success.

The lesson here is that real change requires changing your goals.

I don’t mean setting some surface-level goal because the act of doing that serves an unconscious goal that is actually harming you. That’s been ran through enough in the productivity space. I mean changing your point of view. Because that’s what a goal is. A goal is a projection into the future that acts as a lens of perception which allows you to notice information, ideas, and resources that aid in you achieving that goal.

Now let’s dig a bit deeper, because if you don’t understand this, it only becomes more difficult to get out.

I send out letters like these 1-2x a week. If you don’t want to miss them,

join here.

You can also read my book free, other letters, etc.

III – You aren’t where you want to be because you’re afraid to be there

The important thing for you to remember is that it does not matter in the least how you got the idea or where it came from. You may never have met a professional hypnotist. You may never have been formally hypnotized. But if you have accepted an idea – from yourself, your teachers, your parents, friends, advertisements, from any other source – and further, if you are firmly convinced that idea is true, it has the same power over you as the hypnotist’s words have over the hypnotized subject. – Maxwell Maltz

Here’s how you’ve become who you are today, and how you will become who you will be tomorrow. This is the anatomy of identity:

1. You want to achieve a goal
2. You perceive reality through the lens of that goal
3. You only notice “important” information and ideas that allows you to achieve that goal (learning)
4. You act toward that goal and receive feedback that you are progressing toward it
5. You repeat that behavior until it becomes automatic and unconscious (conditioning)
6. That behavior becomes a part of who you think you are (”I am the type of person who…”)
7. You defend your identity to maintain psychological consistency
8. Your identity shapes new goals, restarting the cycle, and if that identity is disadvantageous toward a good life, this gets bad very quick

The unfortunate reality is that you must break the cycle between steps 6 and 7, but this process starts when you are a child.

You have the goal of survival.

You are dependent on your parents to teach you how to survive. You had to conform. And since the way most people teach is through reward and punishment, unless you adopt their beliefs and values, you will be punished. You don’t actually think for yourself until you see through this.

But your parents have also gone through this process throughout their entire lives. That’s where it can get dangerous. Your parents, unless they broke the pattern themselves, were conditioned by the culturally accepted ideas of success from the Industrial age. They also carry the best and worst conditioning from their parents and their parents’ parents.

To take it a layer deeper, once you fulfill your physical survival needs (which is quite easy to do in today’s world, you’re practically born into safety), you start to survive on the conceptual or ideological level. You may not try to protect and reproduce your body, but you absolutely protect and reproduce your mind. It’s not difficult to see the war of ideas on the internet, and the participants are individual and group identities.

When your body feels threatened, you go into fight or flight.

When your identity feels threatened, the same thing happens.

If you are heavily identified with a political ideology (by the process we talked about just before), you will feel threatened when someone challenges your beliefs. You literally feel the stress. You feel, emotionally, like you were just slapped in the face. Since most people don’t analyze their emotions for truth, you tend to get stuck in echo chambers and double down on claims that harm yourself and others.

If you were raised in a religious household, and did not think for yourself, you will fight and attack others who threaten your psychological safety within that little bubble.

The same thing happens when you unconsciously see yourself as a lawyer, a gamer, or somebody else who would not take the actions to achieve a better life.

IV – The life you want lies within a specific level of mind

The mind evolves through predictable stages over time.

When you’re born, you’re like a little survival sponge that absorbs whatever beliefs you can (which are heavily dictated by your culture) so that you can feel safe and secure. And if you don’t be careful, your mind may crystalize and it may make it difficult to live a meaningful life.

This has been documented enough in models like Maslow’s Hierarchy, Greuter’s stages of ego development, Spiral Dynamics, and Integral Theory, each building off of one another, but it’s also not difficult to observe in society.

I’ve talked about these many times, and synthesized them into my own

Human 3.0 model

with various AI prompts to uncover your level of development and a path forward (open in a tab to read after if you’d like), but here’s the 80/20 of the 9 stages of ego development as a refresher (because repetition helps reveal things you didn’t notice before, and there are new people reading these letters):

1. Impulsive — No separation between impulse and action. Black and white thinking. I.e. A toddler hits when angry because the feeling and the behavior are the same thing.
2. Self-Protective — The world is dangerous and you learn to look out for yourself. I.e. A kid learns to hide report cards, lie about chores, and figure out what adults want to hear.
3. Conformist — You are your group and its rules feel like reality itself. I.e. Someone who genuinely cannot fathom why anyone would vote differently than their family or group.
4. Self-Aware — You notice you have an inner life that doesn’t match the exterior. I.e. Sitting in church and realizing you’re not sure you believe what everyone around you seems to believe, but not knowing what to do with that feeling yet.
5. Conscientious — You build your own system of principles and hold yourself accountable to them. I.e. Leaving your family’s religion after careful study and adopting a personal philosophy you can defend, or building a career plan with clear milestones because you believe the right effort yields the right results.
6. Individualist — You see that your principles were shaped by context and start holding them more loosely. I.e. Realizing your political views have more to do with where you grew up than objective truth, or noticing that your ambitious career goals were really about earning your father’s approval.
7. Strategist — You work with systems while aware of your own involvement in them. I.e. Leading an organization while actively questioning your own blind spots, or engaging in politics knowing your perspective is partial and shaped by bias you can’t fully see.
8. Construct-Aware — You see all frameworks, including your identity, as useful fictions. I.e. Holding your spiritual beliefs with metaphorically not literally, knowing the map is not the territory, or watching yourself play the role of “founder” or “thought leader” with a kind of gentle amusement.
9. Unitive — Separation between self and life dissolves. I.e. Work, rest, and play feel like the same thing. There’s no one left who needs to become something, just presence responding to what arises.

For most people reading this, I would assume you hover between 4 and 8, which is a huge gap. Those closer to 8 are reading this are doing so to either learn something or pass time in a non-destructive way. Those closer to 4 are really looking for a change. You feel like you are meant for more, but you can’t make sense of everything yet, because there’s obviously a lot at play.

The good thing is, it doesn’t really matter what stage you are in, because moving through any of them follows a pattern.

V – Intelligence is the ability to get what you want out of life

The only real test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life. – Naval Ravikant

There is a formula for success.

One ingredient is agency.

One ingredient is opportunity (which many people like to mistake as “privilege” – because they the other ingredients).

The last ingredient is intelligence.

If you have high agency but low opportunity, it doesn’t matter how likely you are to act toward a goal, because it isn’t a goal that will bear much fruit.

If you have opportunity and agency but low intelligence, then you will never be fully able to benefit from that opportunity.

First, we’ve talked about agency before here. In terms of opportunity, I can’t tell you to change your physical location, but if you don’t see the abundance of digital opportunity right in front of you, I don’t know what to tell you.

With that said, I want to focus on what intelligence is in the context of these two other ingredients and this letter. For that, we look to cybernetics.

Cybernetics comes from the greek word kybernetikos which means “to steer” or “good at steering.”

It’s also known as “the art of getting what you want.”

So, if Naval’s definition of intelligence is getting what you want out of life, understanding cybernetics helps you do that much faster.

Cybernetics illustrates the properties of intelligent systems.

• To have a goal.
• Act toward that goal.
• Sense where you are.
• Compare it to the goal.
• And act again based on that feedback.

You can judge intelligence based on the system’s ability to iterate and persist with trial and error.

A ship blown off course that corrects toward its destination. A thermostat sensing a change in heat and turning on. The pancreas excreting insulin after blood glucose spikes.

What does this have to do with getting what you want out of life?

Everything.

Acting, sensing, comparing, and understanding the system from a meta-perspective is fundamental to high intelligence (with the definition we are using here).

High intelligence is the ability to iterate, persist, and understand the big picture. The mark of low intelligence is the inability to learn from your mistakes.

Low-intelligence people get stuck on problems rather than solving them. They hit a roadblock and quit. Like a writer who fails to build a readership and quits because they lack the ability to try new things, experiment, and figure out a process that works for them (to think that there isn’t an effective process you can create is verifiably false, no matter your limiting beliefs, hence being low intelligence.)

High intelligence is realizing any problem can be solved on a large enough timescale. The reality is that you can achieve any goal you set your mind to.

Intelligence is realizing that there is a series of choices you can make which lead to achieving the goal you want. You understand that ideas are hierarchical and that you can’t go from papyrus to Google docs in one fell swoop. Even if that goal is impossible right now, you simply don’t have the resources – which may be invented over the next few years – to achieve that thing.

When I talk about “goals,” and as I will continue repeating, I am not speaking from the typical lens of self-help, although that’s a helpful lens to adopt at times.

I am speaking from the lens of teleology or the Greek kosmos – that everything serves a purpose. That everything is a part of a greater whole.

Goals determine how you see the world.

Goals determine what you consider “success” or “failure.”

You can try to “enjoy the journey,” but if you pursue the wrong goal, you will not enjoy it.

Your mind is the operating system for reality.

That system is composed of goals.

For most people, those goals are assigned to them. Programmed like lines of code in your psyche.

Go to school. Get the job. Get offended. Play victim. Retire at 65.

A known path that doesn’t work.

To become more intelligent, you must:

• Reject the known path
• Dive into the unknown
• Set new, higher goals to expand your mind
• Embrace the chaos and allow for growth
• Study the generalized principles of nature
• Become a deep generalist

I understand this may not be the traditional definition of intelligence, but that sequence of steps leads to an extraordinary level of connections in your brain, leading to what we would observe as an intelligent person. Pair that with agency and you’ve got a winner.

That leads us into the next section perfectly.

VI – How to launch into a completely new life (in 1 day)

The best periods of my life always came after a period of getting absolutely fed up with the lack of progress I was making.

How do you dig into your mind?

How do you become aware of your conditioning?

How do you reach profound insights and truths that change the trajectory of your life?

Through the simple, but often painful act of questioning.

Something that so few people do, and you can tell by how they speak or give their thoughts on a specific topic. Questioning is thinking, and very few people do it.

I want to give you a comprehensive protocol that you can use every year to reset your life and launch into a season of intense progress. This protocol helps you ask the right questions.

These questions will cover the macro to the micro: where you want to be, what you need to do to get there, and what you can do immediately to start moving the needle toward that reality.

This will require one full day to complete, so I recommend you follow along with the exact protocol. You will need a pen, paper, and an open mind.

When I observe patterns in people who successfully flip their identity, it happens fast after a build up of tension. Specifically, I’ve noticed 3 phases that people tend to go through.

1. Dissonance – They feel like they don’t belong in their current life, and become sufficiently fed up with their lack of progress.
2. Uncertainty – They don’t know what comes next, so they either experiment or get lost and feel worse.
3. Discovery – They discover what they want to pursue and make 6 years of progress in 6 months.

So, our goal with this protocol is to help you reach the point of dissonance, navigate through uncertainty, and discover what it truly is that you want to achieve, so much so that the clarity is overwhelming and distractions no longer hold their weight.

This protocol is structured so that it can be completed in one day. In the morning, you do a psychological excavation to uncover your own hidden motives. During the day, you prompt yourself with interrupts to keep you out of autopilot and contemplate your life. At night, you synthesize the insights into a direction you will start to move in tomorrow.

I cannot guarantee that this will work for everyone, because I cannot guarantee that everyone reading this is in the right chapter of their own story that would make these points impactful. You can’t place the climax at the start of the book and expect it to be interesting.

Part 1) Morning – Psychological Excavation – Vision & Anti-Vision

First we must create a new frame, or lens of perception, for your mind to operate from.

This is like creating a new shell, leaving your old one, and slowly growing into it over time. It won’t feel like it fits at first. That’s a good thing.

Set aside 15-30 minutes (the length of one YouTube video… you can do it) to think about and answer these questions. Do not attempt to outsource this contemplation to AI. I want you to break past the limiter that is on your mind. If you can’t answer these immediately, come back to them later.

1. What is the dull and persistent dissatisfaction you’ve learned to live with? Not the deep suffering but what you’ve learned to tolerate. (If you don’t hate it, you will tolerate it)
2. What do you complain about repeatedly but never actually change? Write down the three complaints you’ve voiced most often in the past year.
3. For each complaint: What would someone who watched your behavior (not your words) conclude that you actually want?
4. What truth about your current life would be unbearable to admit to someone you deeply respect?

Those questions are meant to make you aware of the pain in your current life. Now, we need to turn those into what I call an “anti-vision,” which is a brutal awareness of the life you do not want to live. That way, you can use that negative energy to aim your efforts in a positive direction and act from a place of intrinsic motivation.

1. If absolutely nothing changes for the next five years, describe an average Tuesday. Where do you wake up? What does your body feel like? What’s the first thing you think about? Who’s around you? What do you do between 9am and 6pm? How do you feel at 10pm?
2. Now do it but for ten years. What have you missed? What opportunities closed? Who gave up on you? What do people say about you when you’re not in the room?
3. You’re at the end of your life. You lived the safe version. You never broke the pattern. What was the cost? What did you never let yourself feel, try, or become?
4. Who in your life is already living the future you just described? Someone five, ten, twenty years ahead on the same trajectory? What do you feel when you think about becoming them?
5. What identity would you have to give up to actually change? (”I am the type of person who…”) What would it cost you socially to no longer be that person?
6. What is the most embarrassing reason you haven’t changed? The one that makes you sound weak, scared, or lazy rather than reasonable?
7. If your current behavior is a form of self-protection, what exactly are you protecting? And what is that protection costing you?

If you answered those truthfully, and if you are in the right chapter of your life, you will feel a deep sense of dis-ease and possibly disgust for how you are currently living. Now, we need to orient that energy in a positive direction. We need to create a minimum viable vision, because your vision is like a product. It starts out unclear, but with time and experience, it grows stronger and more potent.

1. Forget practicality for a minute. If you could snap your fingers and be living a different life in three years, not what’s realistic, what you actually want? What does an average Tuesday look like? Same level of detail as question 5.
2. What would you have to believe about yourself for that life to feel natural rather than forced? Write the identity statement: “I am the type of person who…”
3. What is one thing you would do this week if you were already that person?

Answer all of those first thing in the morning tomorrow.

Part 2) Throughout The Day – Interrupting Autopilot – Breaking Unconscious Patterns

These journaling exercises are cute, but we want real change.

Frankly, that’s not going to happen if you don’t break the current unconscious patterns that are keeping you the same.

Throughout the day, I want you to contemplate on everything you journaled in part one. Beyond that, I don’t want you to forget to contemplate. Please take this seriously. You aren’t going to change by doing the same thing for the rest of your life. You need to consciously force a pattern break.

Take the time right now to create reminders or calendar events in your phone. Include the question in the reminder or event so that you can immediately start thinking about it.

The more random and non-conflicting with your schedule there are, the better.

• 11:00am: What am I avoiding right now by doing what I’m doing?
• 1:30pm: If someone filmed the last two hours, what would they conclude I want from my life?
• 3:15pm: Am I moving toward the life I hate or the life I want?
• 5:00pm: What’s the most important thing I’m pretending isn’t important?
• 7:30pm: What did I do today out of identity protection rather than genuine desire? (Hint: it’s most things you do)
• 9:00pm: When did I feel most alive today? When did I feel most dead?

To add a bit more fuel to the fire, schedule these questions during times where you are either commuting, walking, or lying around.

• What would change if I stopped needing people to see me as [the identity you wrote in question 10]?
• Where in my life am I trading aliveness for safety?
• What’s the smallest version of the person I want to become that I could be tomorrow?

Part 3) Evening – Synthesizing Insight – Entering A Season Of Progress

If you followed that process, I would be surprised if you didn’t have at least one profound insight that could alter the course of your life. Now, we need to make those known, integrate them into who we are, and act on them to begin solidifying our journey to a new level of mind.

1. After today, what feels most true about why you’ve been stuck?
2. What is the actual enemy? Name it clearly. Not circumstances. Not other people. The internal pattern or belief that has been running the show.
3. Write a single sentence that captures what you refuse to let your life become. This is your anti-vision compressed. It should make you feel something when you read it.
4. Write a single sentence that captures what you’re building toward, knowing it will evolve. This is your vision MVP.

Lastly, we need to create goals.

Again, these aren’t goals that you set for the sake of achievement, because goals are just projections. They are unreliable and make you feel bound to something that will inevitably change. Instead, think of goals as a point of view. A lens that you can exchange to enter the right state of mind to perform the action that will lead away from the life you don’t want. Do not worry about some kind of finish line, because as we will find, it doesn’t exist. Enjoyment is found in progress.

1. One-year lens: What would have to be true in one year for you to know you’ve broken the old pattern? One concrete thing.
2. One-month lens: What would have to be true in one month for the one-year lens to remain possible?
3. Daily lens: What are 2-3 actions you can timeblock tomorrow that the person you’re becoming would simply do?

That was a lot.

Hopefully it was helpful.

But we have one last piece to lock it all in.

Stick with me.

VII – Turn Your Life Into A Video Game

The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness. This happens when psychic energy—or attention—is invested in realistic goals, and when skills match the opportunities for action. The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else. – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

You now have all of the components that lead to a good life.

Now, it may be helpful to organize all of your insights into one coherent plan. Pull out a new page and write down these 6 components:

• Anti-vision – What is the bane of my existence, or the life I never want to experience again?
• Vision – What is the ideal life that I think I want and can improve as I work toward it?
• 1 year goal – What will my life look like in 1 year time, and is that closer to the life I want?
• 1 month project – What do I need to learn? What skills do I need to acquire? What can I build that will move me closer to the one year goal?
• Daily levers – What are the priority, needle-moving tasks that bring my project closer to completion?
• Constraints – What am I not willing to sacrifice to achieve my vision from the ground up?

Why is this so powerful?

Because these components literally create your own little world. If you are meant to pursue this hierarchy of goals at this stage of your life, you will have no other option but to become obsessed. You will feel the pull to something greater. You will not see anything else as an option.

You turn your life into a video game.

Because games are the poster child for obsession, enjoyment, and flow states. They have all the components that lead to focus and clarity, so if we reverse engineer what those components are, we can live in a state of deeper enjoyment, less distractions, and more success.

Your vision is how you win. At least until the game evolves.

Your anti-vision is what’s at stake. What happens if you lose or give up.

Your 1 year goal is the mission. This is your sole priority in life.

Your 1 month project is the boss fight. How you gain XP and acquire loot.

Your daily levers are the quests. The daily process that unlocks new opportunities.

Your constraints are the rules. The limitations that encourage creativity.

All of these act as a concentric set of circles, like a forcefield, that guard your mind from distractions and shiny objects.

The more you play the game, the stronger this force becomes, and soon enough it becomes who you are, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

– Dan

如何在1天内修复你的整个生活 如果你和我一样，你会认为新年的决心很愚蠢。 因为大多数人以完全错误的方式改变他们的生活。他们制定了这些决议，因为其他人都这样做了——我们从状态游戏中创造了表面意义——但它们不符合真正变革的要求，这比说服自己今年你会更有纪律或更有成效要深得多。 如果你是这些人中的一个人，我不是来打倒你的（我写作时往往有点苛刻）。我放弃的目标比我实现的目标多10倍。我认为对大多数人来说应该是这样。但人们试图改变自己的生活，但几乎每次都完全失败，这一事实是真的。 然而，尽管我认为新年决议很愚蠢，但反思你讨厌的生活总是明智的，这样你就可以把自己推向更好的东西，正如我们将要讨论的那样。 因此，无论你是想创业，改变你的身体，还是冒险过上更有意义的生活，2周后不辞职，我想分享7个你可能从未听说过的关于行为改变、心理学和生产力的想法，这样你就可以在2026年做到这一点。 这将是全面的。 这不是那些你读完就忘记的信之一。 这是你想收藏的东西，做笔记，并留出时间思考。 最后的协议（深入挖掘你的心理，发现你在生活中真正想要什么）大约需要一整天才能完成，效果比这要长得多。 让我们开始吧。 我——你不是你想去的地方，因为你不是会在那里的人 在设定大目标时，人们倾向于关注成功的两个要求之一： 改变你的行动，朝着目标前进（最不重要，二阶） 改变你的身份，让你的行为自然而然地跟随（最重要的是，第一阶） 大多数人设定了一个表面目标，在最初的几周里，为了保持纪律而兴奋，然后不费力地回到旧的方式，因为他们试图在腐烂的基础上建立美好的生活。 如果这说不通，让我们来举一个例子。 想想一个成功的人。它可以是一个身材健美的健美运动员，一个身价值数亿美元的创始人/首席执行官，或者一个有魅力的家伙，他可以和一群人聊天，没有一丝焦虑进入他的头脑。 你认为健美运动员必须“磨”才能吃得健康吗？首席执行官必须自律才能露出来并领导团队吗？对你来说，表面上可能看起来是这样，但事实是，他们看不到自己以任何其他方式生活。健美运动员必须磨碎才能吃得不健康。首席执行官不得不强迫自己躺在床上，过了闹钟，他们讨厌它的每一秒（这里有细微差别，请逗我一秒钟）。 对有些人来说，我自己的生活方式似乎有点极端和有纪律。对我来说，这很自然，我这么说并不是为了与任何其他生活方式形成对比。我只是喜欢这样生活。当我妈妈告诉我，我应该休息一下，出去玩玩……我忍住不告诉她，“如果我没有玩得开心，我为什么要做我正在做的事情？” 下一句话听起来可能很简单，但令人困惑的是，有多少人不明白。 如果你想要一个特定的生活结果，你必须有在你实现它之前创造这种结果的生活方式。 如果有人说他们想减掉30磅，我通常不相信他们。不是因为我认为他们没有能力，而是因为同一个人说：“我等不及减肥了，这样我就可以重新开始享受生活了。”我不想向你打破它，但如果你不采用导致你终身减肥的生活方式，并找到比将你与以前的方式有更高的引力的理由，那么你会直接回到你开始的地方，你可以不高兴地说，你浪费了你永远不会回来的资源：时间。 当你真正改变自己时，你所有不努力实现目标的习惯都会变得令人厌恶，因为你对这些行为复合成什么样的生活有着深刻而深刻的认识。你接受你目前的标准，因为你并不完全意识到它们是什么或它们导致什么。我们将讨论如何发现这一点，但我们需要为此进行建设。 你说你想改变。你说你想“在经济上自由”和“变得健康”，但你的行为表明了相反的原因。而且它比你想象的要深得多。 II – 你不是你想去的地方，因为你不想在那里 只相信运动。生活发生在事件层面上，而不是文字层面上。信任运动。 – 阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒 如果你想改变你是谁，你必须了解心灵是如何运作的，这样你才能开始重新编程它。 理解思想的第一步是理解所有行为都是以目标为导向的。这是目的论的。当你想一想，这有点明显，但当我们深入研究它时，大多数人都不想听它。 你向前迈出一步，因为你想到达某个位置。 你挠鼻子是因为想让瘙痒消失。 这些是明确的，但大多数时候，你的目标是无意识的。你可能没有意识到，当你在白天坐在沙发上时，你正试图在下一个责任之前消耗时间，就一个简单的例子。 在更无意识和复杂的层面上，你追求可能伤害你的目标，但你以社会可接受的方式为自己的行为辩护，不会让你看起来像个失败者。 例如，如果你不能停止拖延工作，你可能会以你“缺乏纪律”为理由，但实际上，你正试图像以前一样实现一个目标。在这种情况下，这个目标可能是保护自己免受因完成和分享工作而受到的评判。 如果你说你想辞去死胡同的工作，但没有任何真正的理由继续做下去，你可能会开始认为你没有足够的勇气，或者你从来不是一个真正的“冒险者”，但事实是，你正在追求安全、可预测的目标，以及一个借口，让你生活中的其他人看不到失败，他们认为死胡同的工作是成功的标志。

这里的教训是，真正的改变需要改变你的目标。 我的意思不是设定一些表面水平的目标，因为这样做的行为服务于一个无意识的目标，实际上正在伤害你。这在生产力领域已经足够了。我的意思是改变你的观点。因为这就是目标。目标是对未来的预测，它充当感知的透镜，让您注意到有助于您实现该目标的信息、想法和资源。 现在让我们更深入地挖掘一下，因为如果你不理解这一点，只会变得更难摆脱。 我每周发送1-2次这样的信件。如果你不想错过他们，就在这里加入。你也可以免费阅读我的书、其他信件等。 III – 你不在你想去的地方，因为你害怕在那里 你要记住的重要一点是，你是如何得到这个想法或它来自哪里并不重要。你可能从未见过专业的催眠师。你可能从未被正式催眠过。但是，如果你接受了一个想法——来自你自己、你的老师、你的父母、朋友、广告，来自任何其他来源——此外，如果你坚信这个想法是真实的，它对你的力量就像催眠师的话对催眠主题一样。 – 麦克斯韦·马尔茨 以下是你如何成为今天的你，以及你将如何成为明天的你。这是身份的解剖学： 你想实现一个目标 你通过那个目标的视角来感知现实 你只注意到能够实现该目标的“重要”信息和想法（学习） 你朝着这个目标行动，并收到反馈，表明你正在朝着这个目标前进 你重复这种行为，直到它变得自动和无意识（调理） 这种行为成为你认为自己身份的一部分（“我是那种人……”） 你捍卫你的身份来保持心理上的一致性 你的身份塑造了新的目标，重新开始了这个循环，如果这种身份不利于美好生活，这很快就会变坏 不幸的现实是，你必须打破第6步和第7步之间的循环，但这个过程从你还是个孩子的时候开始。 你有生存的目标。 你依赖父母教你如何生存。你必须顺从。由于大多数人的教学方式是通过奖励和惩罚，除非你接受他们的信仰和价值观，否则你会受到惩罚。在你看穿这个之前，你实际上不会自己思考。 但你的父母一生也经历了这个过程。那就是它可能变得危险的地方。你的父母，除非他们自己打破了这个模式，否则他们受制于工业时代文化上接受的成功理念。他们还从父母和父母的父母那里承担了最好和最坏的条件。 更深入一点，一旦你满足了你的身体生存需求（这在当今世界很容易做到，你实际上生来就很安全），你就开始在概念或意识形态层面上生存。你可能不会试图保护和复制你的身体，但你绝对保护和复制你的心灵。在互联网上看到思想战争并不难，参与者是个人和团体的身份。 当你的身体感到受到威胁时，你会战斗或逃跑。 当你的身份感到受到威胁时，同样的事情也会发生。 如果你强烈认同政治意识形态（根据我们之前讨论的过程），当有人挑战你的信仰时，你会感到受到威胁。你真的感受到了压力。情绪激动，你感觉好像被打了一巴掌。由于大多数人不会分析自己的情绪来找真相，你往往会陷入回声室，并加倍声称伤害自己和他人。 如果你在宗教家庭中长大，没有为自己考虑，你会和攻击那些在那个小泡沫中威胁你心理安全的人。 当你不自觉地将自己视为律师、游戏玩家或其他不会采取行动实现更好生活的人时，同样的事情也会发生。 IV – 你想要的生活在于特定的思维层次 随着时间的推移，心灵会经历可预测的阶段。 当你出生时，你就像一块小生存海绵，吸收任何你能吸收的信念（这些信念在很大程度上取决于你的文化），这样你就能感到安全和有保障。如果你不小心，你的思想可能会结晶，这可能会使你难以过上有意义的生活。 马斯洛的层次结构、格罗特的自我发展阶段、螺旋动力学和积分理论等模型已经充分记录了这一点，每个模型都是相互构建的，但在社会中观察起来也不难。 我已经说过很多次了，并将它们综合成我自己的人类3.0模型，并带有各种人工智能提示，以揭示您的发展水平和前进的道路（如果您愿意，请在选项卡中打开阅读），但以下是自我发展的9个阶段中的80/20作为复习（因为重复有助于揭示您以前没有注意到的事情，并且有新人阅读这些信件）： 冲动——冲动和行动之间没有区别。黑白思维。即蹒跚学步的孩子生气时会打人，因为感觉和行为是一回事。 自我保护——世界是危险的，你要学会照顾好自己。即一个孩子学会了隐藏成绩单，对家务撒谎，并弄清楚成年人想听什么。 社员——你们是你们的团体，它的规则感觉就像现实本身。即一个真正无法理解为什么有人会以与家人或团体不同的方式投票的人。 自我意识——你注意到你的内心生活与外表不符。即坐在教堂里，意识到你不确定你是否相信你周围的人似乎相信的东西，但还不知道该如何处理这种感觉。 认真——你建立自己的原则体系，并对自己负责。即在仔细研究并采用你可以捍卫的个人哲学后离开家庭的宗教，或者建立一个具有明确里程碑的职业计划，因为你相信正确的努力会带来正确的结果。 个人主义者——你看到你的原则是由上下文塑造的，并开始更松散地持有它们。即意识到你的政治观点与你成长的地方有关，而不是客观的真相，或者注意到你雄心勃勃的职业目标实际上是为了赢得你父亲的认可。

战略家——你与系统合作，同时意识到自己参与其中。即领导一个组织，同时积极质疑自己的盲点，或参与政治，知道你的观点是片面的，并被你无法完全看到的偏见所塑造。 构建感知——您将所有框架，包括您的身份，视为有用的虚构。即用隐喻而不是字面意思来保持你的精神信仰，知道地图不是领土，或者用一种温和的乐趣看着自己扮演“创始人”或“思想领袖”的角色。 统一——自我和生命之间的分离消散。即工作、休息和玩耍的感觉是一样的。没有人需要成为某物，只有存在对出现的反应。 对于大多数阅读这篇文章的人来说，我认为你在4到8之间徘徊，这是一个巨大的差距。那些接近8岁的人正在阅读这篇文章，要么是为了学习一些东西，要么以非破坏性的方式打分时间。那些接近4的人真的在寻找改变。你觉得你注定要得到更多，但你还不能理解一切，因为显然有很多事情在起作用。 好在，你处于哪个阶段并不重要，因为通过任何一个阶段都遵循一种模式。 V – 智力是从生活中获得你想要的东西的能力 唯一真正的智力测试是你是否从生活中得到你想要的东西。 – 海军拉维坎特 成功有一个公式。 一种成分是代理。 一个成分是机会（许多人喜欢误认为是“特权”——因为他们是其他成分）。 最后一个成分是智力。 如果你的代理权很高，但机会很低，那么你朝着一个目标行动的可能性并不重要，因为它不是一个会结出很多结果的目标。 如果你有机会和代理权，但智力低下，那么你将永远无法从这个机会中充分受益。 首先，我们之前在这里讨论过代理。就机会而言，我不能告诉你改变你的物理位置，但如果你没有看到眼前丰富的数字机会，我不知道该告诉你什么。 说着，我想重点关注另外两种成分和这封信的背景下的智力是什么。为此，我们期待控制论。 控制论来自希腊语kybernetikos，意思是“转向”或“擅长转向”。 它也被称为“得到你想要的东西的艺术”。 因此，如果海军对智能的定义是在生活中获得你想要的东西，那么了解控制论可以帮助你更快地做到这一点。 控制论说明了智能系统的特性。 有一个目标。 朝着那个目标行动。 感受你在哪里。 将其与目标进行比较。 并根据该反馈再次采取行动。 您可以根据系统迭代和坚持试错的能力来判断情报。 一艘船偏离了航线，正朝着目的地前进。恒温器感知到热量的变化并打开。胰腺在血糖飙升后排泄胰岛素。 这和从生活中得到你想要的东西有什么关系？ 一切。 从元视角来行动、感知、比较和理解系统是高智商的基础（我们在这里使用的定义）。 高智商是迭代、坚持和理解大局的能力。智力低下的标志是无法从错误中学习。 智力低下的人会纠结于问题，而不是解决问题。他们遇到了障碍并退出了。就像一个作家，他未能建立读者群并辞职，因为他们缺乏尝试新事物、实验和找出适合他们的过程的能力（认为没有一个有效的过程你可以创造是可以验证的，这是可以验证的错误，无论你的限制性信念如何，因此智力低下。） 高智商是意识到任何问题都可以在足够大的时间内解决。现实情况是，你可以实现你设定的任何目标。 智力是意识到你可以做出一系列选择，这些选择可以实现你想要的目标。你明白想法是分层的，你不能一下就从纸莎草纸到谷歌文档。即使这个目标现在是不可能的，你根本没有资源——未来几年可能会发明——来实现这个目标。 当我谈论“目标”时，正如我将继续重复的那样，我不是从典型的自助角度说话，尽管这有时是一个有用的视角。 我是从目的论或希腊宇宙的视角说话的——一切都是有目的的。一切都是更大整体的一部分。 目标决定了你如何看待世界。 目标决定了你认为什么是“成功”还是“失败”。 你可以尝试“享受旅程”，但如果你追求错误的目标，你就不会享受它。 你的思想是现实的操作系统。 那个系统由目标组成。 对大多数人来说，这些目标是分配给他们的。像你心理中的代码行一样编程。 去上学。得到这份工作。被冒犯。扮演受害者。65岁退休。 一条行不通的已知路径。 要变得更聪明，你必须： 拒绝已知路径 潜入未知 设定新的、更高的目标来拓展你的思维 拥抱混乱，允许增长 研究自然的广义原理 成为一名深厚的通才 我知道这可能不是智力的传统定义，但这一步骤的顺序会导致你大脑中异常的联系，从而导致我们作为一个聪明人所观察到的。把它和代理商配对，你就有了赢家。 这完美地引导我们进入下一部分。 VI – 如何开启全新的生活（1天内） 我生命中最美好的时期总是在完全厌倦了缺乏进步之后。 你如何挖掘你的头脑？ 你是如何意识到自己的条件的？ 你如何获得改变你人生轨迹的深刻见解和真理？ 透過簡單但通常痛苦的提問行為。 很少有人做的事情，你可以通过他们如何说话或对特定主题发表想法来判断。质疑就是思考，很少有人这样做。 我想给你一个全面的协议，你可以每年使用它来重置你的生活，并进入一个激烈进步的季节。这个协议可以帮助你提出正确的问题。

这些问题将涵盖宏观到微观：你想去哪里，你需要做什么才能到达那里，以及你可以立即做什么来开始向现实移动针。 这需要一整天的时间才能完成，所以我建议您遵循确切的协议。你需要一支笔、一张纸和一个开放的心态。 当我观察成功翻转身份的人的模式时，在紧张的积累后，它很快就发生了。具体来说，我注意到人们倾向于经历3个阶段。 不和谐——他们觉得自己不属于现在的生活，并且已经厌倦了自己缺乏进步。 不确定性——他们不知道接下来会发生什么，所以他们要么做实验，要么迷路，感觉更糟。 发现——他们发现他们想要追求的东西，并在6个月内取得6年的进步。 因此，我们这个协议的目标是帮助你达到不和谐点，驾驭不确定性，并发现你真正想要实现的是什么，以至于清晰度不堪重负，分心不再有分量。 这个协议的结构可以在一天内完成。早上，你进行心理挖掘，以揭示自己隐藏的动机。白天，你用打断来提示自己，让你离开自动驾驶仪，思考你的生活。晚上，你把见解综合成你明天将开始前进的方向。 我不能保证这对每个人都有效，因为我不能保证每个阅读这篇文章的人都在自己故事的正确章节中，这将使这些要点产生影响。你不能把高潮放在书的开头，并期望它很有趣。 第1部分）早晨-心理挖掘-视觉和反视觉 首先，我们必须创建一个新的框架或感知透镜，让你的头脑从中运作。 这就像创造一个新的外壳，留下你的旧外壳，随着时间的推移慢慢成长。一开始感觉不合适。那是件好事。 留出15-30分钟（一个YouTube视频的长度……你可以做到）来思考并回答这些问题。不要试图将这种沉思外包给人工智能。我想让你打破你心中的限制。如果您不能立即回答这些问题，请稍后再来。 你学会忍受的沉闷和持续的不满是什么？不是深深的痛苦，而是你学会了忍受的东西。（如果你不讨厌它，你会容忍它） 你反复抱怨什么，但从未真正改变过？写下你过去一年最常表达的三个抱怨。 对于每项投诉：一个看到你的行为（而不是你的话）的人会得出结论，你真正想要什么？ 向你深切尊敬的人承认你目前生活的哪些真相是无法忍受的？

这些问题旨在让你意识到你现在生活中的痛苦。現在，我們需要把那些變成我所說的「反視覺」，即對你不想過的生活的殘酷意識。这样，你可以利用这种负能量，把你的努力指向一个积极的方向，并从内在动机出发行动。 如果未来五年完全没有变化，请描述一个普通的星期二。你在哪里醒来？你的身体感觉如何？你首先想到的是什么？你身边有谁？你在上午9点到下午6点之间做什么？你晚上10点感觉怎么样？ 现在做吧，但要做十年。你错过了什么？哪些机会关闭了？谁放弃了你？当你不在房间里时，人们会怎么说你？ 你的生命已经到了尽头。你活在安全版本中。你从未打破过模式。费用是多少？你从未让自己感受到、尝试或成为什么？ 你生命中的谁已经在过着你刚才描述的未来？未来五年、十年、二十年的人在相同的轨道上？當你想到要成為他們時，你有什麼感覺？ 你必须放弃什么身份才能真正改变？（“我是那种……”的人）不再是那个人，在社交上会付出什么代价？ 你没有改变的最令人尴尬的原因是什么？让你听起来软弱、害怕或懒惰而不是理智的那个？ 如果你目前的行为是一种自我保护，你到底在保护什么？保护花费了你多少钱？ 如果你如实回答了这些，如果你正处于人生的正确篇章，你会对你现在的生活方式感到深深的不安和厌恶。现在，我们需要将能量导向一个积极的方向。我们需要创造一个最低限度的可行愿景，因为你的愿景就像一个产品。它一开始不清楚，但随着时间的推移和经验，它变得越来越强大和更有效力。

记实用性一分钟。如果你能打个响指，在三年内过上不同的生活，而不是现实的东西，你真正想要的是什么？一个普通的星期二是什么样子的？与问题 5 的细节级别相同。 你必须相信自己什么，才能让那种生活感觉自然而不是被迫？寫下身份宣告：「我是那種人……」 如果你已经是那个人了，你这周会做什么？ 明天早上第一件事就是回答所有这些。 第2部分）全天——中断自动驾驶仪——打破无意识模式 这些日记练习很可爱，但我们想要真正的改变。 坦率地说，如果你不打破目前让你保持不变的无意识模式，这种情况就不会发生。 一整天，我想让你思考你在第一部分中记录的所有内容。除此之外，我不想让你忘记思考。请认真对待这件事。你不会因为余生都做同样的事情而改变。你需要有意识地强行打破模式。 现在就花时间在手机上创建提醒或日历事件。在提醒或事件中包括问题，以便您可以立即开始思考。 越随机，越不符合你的日程安排越好。 上午11:00：我现在做我正在做的事情在逃避什么？ 下午1:30：如果有人拍摄了最后两个小时，他们会断定我想要什么？ 下午3:15：我是走向我讨厌的生活还是我想要的生活？ 下午5:00：我假装不重要的最重要的事情是什么？ 晚上7:30：出于身份保护而不是真正的欲望，我今天做了什么？（提示：这是你做的大多数事情） 晚上9:00：今天我什么时候感觉最有活力？我什么时候感觉最死气沉沉的？ 为了火上浇油，在你上下班、走路或躺着的时候安排这些问题。 如果我不再需要人们把我看成[你在问题10中写的身份]，会有什么变化？ 在我的生活中，我在哪里用生命来换取安全？ 我想成为的最小版本是什么，我明天可以成为？ 第3部分）晚上——综合洞察力——进入一个进步的季节 如果你遵循这个过程，如果你没有至少一个可以改变你人生轨迹的深刻见解，我会感到惊讶。现在，我们需要让这些人知道，将他们融入到我们是谁中，并采取行动，开始巩固我们走向新思想水平的旅程。

今天之后，关于你为什么被卡住，什么感觉最真实？ 真正的敌人是什么？说清楚。不是环境。不是其他人。一直在运行节目的内部模式或信念。 写一句话，捕捉你拒绝让你的生活变成什么。这是你的反视力压缩。当你阅读它时，它应该会让你有所感受。 写一句话，捕捉你正在建设的方向，知道它会演变。这是你的愿景MVP。 最后，我们需要制定目标。 再说一遍，这些不是你为了成就而设定的目标，因为目标只是预测。它们不可靠，让你感到被一些不可避免地会改变的东西所束缚。相反，将目标视为一种观点。一个你可以交换的镜头，进入正确的心理状态，执行将导致远离你不想要的生活的行动。不要担心某种终点线，因为正如我们将发现的那样，它并不存在。发现享受正在进行中。 一年镜头：一年内什么是真的，你才能知道你打破了旧模式？一件具体的事情。 一个月的镜片：一个月内什么才能保持一年的镜片？ 每日镜头：你明天可以计时的2-3个动作，而你正在成为的人会简单地做？ 那太多了。 希望这有帮助。 但我们还有最后一块可以把它全部锁进去。 跟我在一起。 VII – 把你的生活变成电子游戏 内在体验的最佳状态是意识有秩序的状态。当精神能量——或注意力——投入到现实的目标中，以及当技能与行动机会相匹配时，就会发生这种情况。追求目标会带来意识的秩序，因为一个人必须把注意力集中在手头的任务上，并暂时忘记其他一切。 – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 你现在拥有了通往美好生活的所有组成部分。 现在，将你所有的见解整理成一个连贯的计划可能会有所帮助。拉出一个新页面，写下这6个组件： 反视觉——我存在的祸恩是什么，或者我不想再经历的生活？ 愿景——我认为我想要的理想生活是什么，在我努力实现它时，我可以改善它？ 1年目标——1年后我的生活会是什么样子，这更接近我想要的生活吗？ 1个月的项目——我需要学习什么？我需要掌握哪些技能？我能建造什么来让我更接近一年的目标？ 日常杠杆——哪些优先任务能让我的项目更接近完成？ 制约因素——为了从零开始实现我的愿景，我不愿意牺牲什么？

为什么这如此强大？ 因为这些组件真的创造了你自己的小世界。如果你注定要在人生的这个阶段追求这种层次的目标，你别无选择，只能痴迷。你会感到被更伟大的东西吸引。您不会看到其他任何东西作为选项。 你把你的生活变成了电子游戏。 因为游戏是痴迷、享受和流动状态的海报儿童。它们具有导致专注和清晰度的所有组成部分，因此，如果我们对这些组成部分进行逆向工程，我们可以生活在一种更深层次的享受、更少的分心和更多的成功状态中。 你的愿景就是你如何获胜。至少在游戏发展之前。 你的反愿景是利害攸关的。如果你输了或者放弃了会发生什么。 你的1年目标是使命。这是你生活中唯一的首要任务。 你1个月的项目是老板打架。你如何获得经验值和获得战利品。 你每天的杠杆是任务。解锁新机会的日常流程。 你的约束就是规则。鼓励创造力的局限性。 所有这些都像一组同心圆一样，就像一个力场一样，保护你的头脑免受干扰和闪亮的物体的影响。 你越玩这个游戏，这种力量就越强大，很快它就变成了你，你就不会有任何其他方式了。 – 丹